Good Morning World!
by ErikandChristine
Summary: SD and Voldemort are invited to a talk show, Good Morning World. HP and PD mixed, how crazy can it get? Find out...
1. Chapter 1

Reporter: Good morning everyone watching this TV Show or listening to this radio program. Today we are interviewing a villain- (handed a cue card) A great supreme villain of all time with a great sexy a-okay I am not reading that buddy. Anyway here's Saint Dane.

SD: Hello.

R: So as we saw a few seconds ago you are a dirty minded villain.

SD: Wha-? No!

R: You gave me the cue card.

SD: Well know one listening to the radio would've known.

R: We have this on live TV too ya know.

SD: Sh(Bleep)

R: Well, anyway. People have been wanting to know whether you were evil at the beginning of you life.

SD: Well I've evil for so long its hard to remember.

R: Well are you like Ainikin Skywalker?

SD: Actually yes, me and him are like his (crosses fingers).

R: You're a couple?

SD: No!

R: So you guys are queer?

SD: No, we're close friends!

R: Friends eh?

SD: …

R: Anyway, why did you join the dark side?

SD: What? Why wouldn't I? It has its perks.

R: Like?

SD: Cookies.

R: Cookies?

SD: Chocolate chip.

R: (Gasp!) OMG!

SD: I know!

R: I like so totally want to join the dark side now!

SD: See.

R: Are they the ones with the raisins and the- (ahem) getting back to the interview. People want to know whether you have met with Voldemort before.

SD: Of course! We villains know other villains. My and Volds knew each other since we were in diapers. Sometimes he does my dirty work and I do his.

R: Really?

SD: Yeah, we usually switch places too. It gets boring fighting Pendragon sometimes, so I switch over to the kid with the glasses….

R: Harry?

SD: Yeah that's it.

R: (whispers) Back to the cookies, where can I get some?

SD: (looks around) My people will call your people.

R: Ah, yes. Smart plan.

SD: Ofcourse, I am genius.

R:Uh…yeah, that's what they said about Voldemort, but he was defeated by a baby.

SD: Hey, I wasn't in his place at that time. That screw up was ALL him.

R: Right…Well we have Voldemort here with us right now.

Curtain opens and Voldemort comes with a dramatic appearance. Smoke surrounds the stage and the live studio audience coughs uncontrollably-

(Ahem)

Reporter gives narrator an evil glare which makes him look like he's got something in his eye and-

(Ahem)

Fine, fine. I'll stop, but I am the narrator you know.

Saint Dane stands up and goes over to greet Voldemort who has the smell of smoke around him.

SD: So good to see you lad.

V: As am I.

SD & V: Muah Muah

R: …Um…uh hi You-Know-Who.

V: Oh please call me Voldemort, everyone does.

R: Right, even though your real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle.

V: Don't call me by that hideous name.

R: Oh and Voldemort is any better?

Voldemort stands up irritably but SD controls him

SD: Haha, sit down old buddy. Don't let anger get the best of you.

R: (coughs nervously and glares at narrator for announcing at that, and still continues to glare, and the narrator gets the hint and shuts up…for the moment anyway) Anyway SD was telling us you two switch places sometimes and do each others dirty work. Is that true?

V: OH yes, we've switched many times. I've fought that boy, whats his name again? Pendidle? Dragonboy?

SD: Pendragon.

V: That's what I said.

R: Well what times have you switched?

V: Well I was there when that boy went to First Earth, of course Dane here doesn't know much about the Earth's history so I helped him out there.

SD: Yeah but you still lost me that territory.

V: So, you lost the other four territories on your own. I didn't help you fail. I mean come on, he's only a child and you lost 5 territories to him.

SD: Well at least I didn't disappear for 13 years when I tried to kill a baby.

V: Yeah well FIVE Territories and he hasn't even gotten the powers you had.

SD: A BABY! He didn't even know his name let alone the number of spells you knew. Mr. The-Man-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live.

R: Uh…we'll take a brief break here…

SD: I'm not done yet.

V: Yeah well neither am I.

SD: DON'T YOU DARE POINT A STICK AT ME!

V: YEAH WELL DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE YOU APPEARANCE INTO MY MOTHER.

SD: Well what you gonna do about it?

V: This!

SD: Well bring it on Mama's BOY! OH look there's you DAD!

Voldemort spins around.

V: What I thought I killed him.

SD: Haha its just me!

R: UH…UH…UH…

Reporter stammers with a loss of words. He has no idea what to do, mainly because he doesn't deserve this job and I do, because I'm sexier that him, but no one ever sees the narrator. Uh…Reporter advances toward the narrator behind stage with his hands outstretched ready to kill…Hey you cant do that…Put down that knife! Please I'll give you all my coupons for free coffee. Gahhhhh!!!!

Stay tuned after these messages… 


	2. Chapter 2

Reporter: Uh, and we're back with another episode of Good Morning World!

Reporter laughs nervously, then glares at narrator who sticks outh tongeth anth taks funny.

R: Uggh, what is your problem!

Your face, says the amazingly hot narrator.

R: No one can see you anyway; you're only the narrator.

Yeah but if anything ever happened to you, I, the vivacious hot, sexy, narrator would take your place.

R: Too bad for you, nothing will happen to me.

Oh…that's what you think. Narrator's evil laughter echoes through out.

R: Uh…anyway, enough of him, lets get back to our lovely…to our guests: Saint Dane and Voldemort.

V: Hey why'd you say his name first?

R: Uh…

SD: Because it sounds better that way Tom.

V: Hey don't call me Tom!

R: That's your name though…

V: Nuh huh

R: Yah uh

V: Nuh huh

R: Yah huh

SD: Oh will you two shut up!

Voldemort grumbles and stares around to see where the mysterious –yet sexy- voice is coming from. I'm over here Tom!

V: Besides it doesn't sound better either. Saint Dane and Voldemort, it should be Voldemort and Saint Dane

SD: …

R: …

V: Oh you're right, it does sound better!

R: Uh, now that everyone is introduced we'll bring in today's special guests of this evening!

Drum Roll sounds…Narrator…Trumpets sound…still Narrator…

R: Harry Potter and Bobby Pendragon!!

Crowd in audience screams delightedly. Narrator purrs…oh crap, narrator realizes he said that out loud.

V & SD: AAAAHHH!

V: I mean 'sup.

SD: I mean yo.

Nice save…suckers.

V: Seriously where's that voice coming from?

SD: How za hell woulz I noe?

V: Hey, did you just miraculously form a French accent?

SD: Oui, zat is quite correctzzz.

V: Yeah, you're not very good.

SD: zhit.

V: You mean sh-

HP: OMG! It's like my totally evil arch nemesis!

BP: Oh hell no! Saint Dane here's too! So totally rad man! Like too cool!

V: Uh…

SD: WTF?

R: Uh, narrator you're supposed to bleep that out…

Don't think so.

R: Fine, whatever.

Bobby Pendragon and Harry Potter walk across stage to go the two empty seats across from the two bald evil dudes.

V: Hey we're not completely bald!

SD: Yeah we have eyebrows you know…wait I burned those off too…(Little Pendragon humor when his hair burns in the 5th book and leaves red marks)

Anyway… the two heroes walk across stage and the girls in the live audience scream in delight! YAH! GO YOU TWO! STRUT YO STUFF BABY! Oh snap… I said that out loud too didn't I…

Ahem…Girls in the audience throw panties at the two who laugh and wave at everyone, half the audience faints from their awesome smiles. A bloomer is thrown on stage and everyone turns to look at an old lady.

Old Lady: Woohooo! He caught ma bloomers!

BP: Uh…here Harry you take it.

Tosses bloomers to scar head.

HP: Ewww! Get it off, get it off!

Old Lady: Back in ma day, guys would have loved to have my panties.

HP: These aren't panties ma'am, this is the whole world.

Looks at bloomers and shudders in an attractive way.

BP: Back your day we weren't even born.

Camera Men point cameras towards the two teens.

CM 1: Say cheese!

CM 2: Oh and can I get your digits!

Camera Man 1 and Camera Man 2, who for some reason don't have names, wink seductively at the two.

Old Lady: Not with my huns you don't!

Old Lady, who also has no name, trashes two camera men with her oversized Marry Poppin's bag.

Reporters lead the two heroes to the empty seats.

R: So, welcome to Good Morning World.

Flashes smile to camera, all viewers scream in pain as their eyes burn in agony. Oh god I can't see either!!! Something get a doctor out here! Code red I repeat code red! Narrator down!

R: WTF is wrong with you! OMG you were supposed to bleep that, we're on live you know!

Yeah, well I'm not gonna.

R: Why the Fuck not? OMG you were supposed to beep that out too!

Yeah well I'm not going to until you say, "I suck and the narrator is a devilishly handsome man with a sex appeal, and I don't deserve this job."

R: Hell NO!

Fine, your going to keep swearing and I wont cover it and you'll just be fired.

R: Fine I give in! I suck… and the narrator is awesomely cool and he deserves this job while I deserve to live in a garbage can behind Taco Bell

…. Hmm, not my exact words but hey I'm fine with it

R: So the (bleep) and the (bleep) will (bleepity bleep bleep) and (bleepish bleep bleep) OK what gives your (bleep) (bleep) bleeping everything I say!

So…

R: Uh, you're only (bleep) supposed to bleep the cursing!

So…

R: So everyone is going to think I'm a potty mouth!

Don't see where you're going with this…

R: You're having a lot of fun aren't ya?

Duh! I just made you look a complete idiot on live TV! Whoo hooo! I rock!

R: You freaking (bleep)

I believe the correct form is hole of the ass.

R:Aaaarrrgh!!

V: Wow that narrator sure is evil.

SD: I know…don't you love him?

V: Yeah…

R: Anyway, lets get back to business here. You four might know each other, considering your enemies and Voldemort and Saint Dane switched places once.

BP: Oh we did too.

HP: I remember that, man that polyjuice potion tasted nasty.

BP: Hey, drinking your hair wasn't pretty either.

V: WHAT??

SD: YOU SWITCHED PLACES?

HP: Um do they always finish each other's sentences?

BP: Beats me.

V: How could you switch places?

SD: Word dog!

Awkward silence.

SD: What? Cant a evil bald dude be gangsta'?

Awkward-er silence.

SD: Seriously stop with the whole "silence" thing.

BP: Anyway…if you guys switched why cant we?

V: Cuz it's a total evil guy thing!

BP: Whoa we just did something evil dude!

HP: Wicked!

High-five in a girly way and look around to see where the voice is coming from.

R: Uh…ignoring that. Harry, Bobby tell us which evil villain is better?

HP: Cant say…

BP: Hmm…

HP: Well Voldemort is so evil people fear to say his name.

BP: Yeah, but Saint Dane's the real genius.

HP: What! Oh come on was he ever Head Boy and a Prefect and winning awards and being offered a place at the ministry?

BP: Well…no, but he always has cool, evil plans that you never figure out until the end.

HP: So Voldemort here can manipulate your mind into thinking completely different things.

BP: Yeah well Saint Dane can do that without magic.

Both heroes rise angrily and face each other…hmm…. interesting, Bobby has nice rear end from her…damn it, gotta stop talking to myself like that. Dagnabit, did it again! And again!

BP: Saint Dane has plans that actually work!

HP: Yeah well so does Voldemort and he soooo many more people on his side.

BP: So now he has Nevva on his side.

HP: Yeah well he has over 30 death eaters, dementors, AND giants AND werewolves on his side. Lets see him beat that.

BP: But clearly Saint Dane's the better villain, I mean come on who gets defeated by a baby?

V: Um…I am I the only who finds this weird?

SD: Yeah, my enemy is sticking up for me.

V: Mine too? YEAH YOU GO POTTER! SHOW HIM WHO'S BETTER!

HP: Yeah, well at least Voldemort doesn't have anger management problems. Remember on Zaada? He beat the crap out of you just cuz you said one thing.

BP: Well….well….he's still better looking!

HP: Hey Voldemort was a hottie in his teen years. He only looks like turd now cuz he was an idiot and made horcruxes.

V: YEAH GO HARRY! WAIT…what he say?

BP: Oh please, Voldie's face alone could kill someone.

HP: Your just making stuff up.

BP: No, look!

Points at half dead audience…hope their insurance covers being dead from looking at a shitsie thing like Voldemort.

V: Hey! When I find out where your office, you are so dead!

(Bolts door to office) Oh please mother of creator of cheese and all sugary goodness, don't let him get in here!

R: Well, you are ugly.

V: What! How dare you, I look fine!

Hands him a mirror.

V: AAHHHHH! OMG! WTF IS THAT THING!

R: Um, that's you…

V: As much as I hate being proven wrong…that is hideous.

Mirror has now just cracked…Wow…

R: Like Oooooh My Gawd! That was my special mirror!

SD:…ok….

R: May we suggest a paper bag.

V: For what?

SD: Your face dimwit!

V: Hey I thought you were on my side!

R: Hmm….interesting, lets see. Saint Dane…can call you Saint Dane? And Voldemort which hero is better.

V: Well duh, Harry Potter.

SD: That's your enemy.

V: Yeah but he's better than that "Booby".

SD: It's Bobby and hey he's a real good Traveler for an amateur.

BP: Cool thanks…wait what was that last bit?

HP: Yeah you tell him who's boss Voldie!

V: Has Bobby ever defeated you at just 1 years old?

SD: No, but that's because your just lame. Bobby beat me 5 TIMES!

V: SO? Harry beat me…

Counts on fingers…someone needs a manicure….

V: 5 TIMES TOO!

SD: Guess we're even then…

HP: No we're even.

BP: Shh…this is getting good. Want some popcorn?

HP: Is it buttery?

BP: Yeah…

HP: Awesome!

V: Yeah well Harry's can better girls than your Booby can.

SD: Aarrgh its Bobby!

HP: Wow they're using our first names…

BP: I used to be known as Pendragon.

HP: Hey both last names start with a P!

Shut up! Yells the awesomely cool narrator.

SD: Bobby has a girlfriend named Courtney!

V: Aahh, sixth book he fell in love with Loor and she REJECTED HIM! IN YO FACE!

SD: Oh yeah Cho Chang stuck up Harry in the end too! And now he's not with Ginny either! WHO'S YOU DADDY NOW!

V: Hey neither of them have girlfriends…

BP: Must you open the wounds!

HP: Yeah get back to defending us! That was fun!

BP: (snort) Yeah I know!

R: Um…maybe we should go to commercial now?

No! The party just got started!

Ask another Question!

R: Uh…so Voldemort SD has always tried to get Bobby on the dark side, what about you?

V: Well I never really thought about it. Hey Harry wanna join?

HP: I dunno…

BP: Wtf?

SD: Tell him the benefits…

V: the…cookies…

HP: That's it?

V: and the muffins of course.

BP: Wtf?

HP: Well the muffins do change things…

BP: I'm saying it again WTF?

HP: Hmmm….Ginny wont like it if joined the dark side though.

V: Screw Ginny-

HP: I tried…she wont let me, say's "she's not ready".

V: Wth? I was going to say, screw Ginny, there a plenty of girls better than her on the dark side.

HP: But there's no one like Ginny…

V: I said they're Better than her!

HP: Well Ginny and I do need some space, and she's kinda like a female version of my best friend. So my answer is-

Ginny: WTF? HARRY!

HP: GINNY? What- what are you doing here?

G: How could you even consider going on the dark side?

HP: Well…I mean the muffins and the-the cookie with the chocolate chip…and you can deny the girls!

G: HARRY!

HP: Okay…okay. Sorry Voldemort I have to say no deal!

R: Wrong show!

HP: I mean, NO.

Ginny leads him out of the room pulling Harry by the ear.

HP: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Looks back at Voldemort.

HP: I'll call you! (whispers)

R: Well this concludes today's episode. Tune in for the next one! We'll bring Harry back, and a guest star from the fanfic "103 ways to Annoy Voldemort!" created by the same author who brought you Good Morning World and The Hottest, Sexiest Dark Lord.

V: Oh god please don't tell me Christine is coming!

R: AND we're reuniting Saint Dane with his family!

SD: I get to see my Bubba!

R: Um…sure?? And we get to see Saint Dane with his fiancé!

SD: Oh shit sticks! NOOOOOO!

V: What's wrong with your fiancé?

SD: Well that last time I saw her, I lied and said I was going to buy milk…

V: So?

SD: THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

R: So, this'll be an episode you wont want to miss!

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**Hey, so many reviews for one chapter, I hope I get as many for this one…or no update!**

**I hate that there are so many good Pendragon fics, but no one updates them…so I made sure this one was updated! **

**Anyway, there will be a guest star from my other fic "103 ways to annoy Voldemort" so…if you don't know who Christine is, go read the fic…I guarantee you'll love it even more than this one. **

**Sorry for the lack of humor in this one! It was supposed to be funnier, but it was going to get too long! **

**So review review REVIEW! Or no Update! **

**PS: Check out my other fics…if your liked this….**

**Cant believe I'm using my own story to advertise…**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm back!!!! Yeah, how long has it been since the last update? **

**Well I finally have an update, it's not exactly good, but its an update, which is good enough. I hate that there are so many good Pendragon fics but they're never updated. **

**Also, to all those who reviewed: YOU GUYS KICK ASS! **

**And I mean it, not literally, but you guys rock! So keep those reviews coming, and I hope you enjoy whatever pathetic update I've thrown together for you. **

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R: Good Morning World!

V: That is the dumbest title I've heard.

R: Well at least it's better than your 'evil plans'.

Oohh that was a burn Voldie.

V: Don't call me that! And where in Salazar's name is that voice coming from?

I thought you were smart? I'm the sexy narrator.

R: Ugh! Why do you keep saying that?

Don't hate me 'cuz I'm beautiful.

R: You are you so annoying.

Somebody's the jealous type.

R: If you were a real man you'd come out and say that to my face!

Dude, have you seen what you look like?

R: That's it we're having a show down right now!

Easy there, is that time of the month already? Geez I gotta get a calendar in here.

R: AAAH!

SD: Now, now don't get you boxers in a knot we'll deal with him later, right now you're in the middle of interviewing us.

Reporter jumps back like Harry when he sees Moaning Myrtle.

R: Saint Dane! When did you get here?

SD: I was sitting here the whole time with Pendragon and the Potty kid.

HP: It's Potter.

Saint Dane snorts with laughter.

SD: You actually respond to Potty?

Harry looks down at floor trying to look innocent but we all know that's not true and his plan isn't working very well considering I'm narrating everything.

HP: It's an old habit.

BP: Hey, do these socks make my ankles look big?

Silence.

BP: Well?

Still silence.

BP: Come on, a guys gotta know whether his ankles look a little wide.

It's still silent, well except the part me saying it's silent it's still silent.

BP: I'm serious.

When will this kid realize no one is going to respond to a question like that?

V: Well I think they look fine, but those pants don't do much for your thighs.

Never mind…

R: Ahem, anyway. Welcome to all the listeners and viewers of our show, that was just a little skit we were practicing there so don't change the channel.

He laughs nervously hoping the viewers and listeners will buy it but we all know he's just trying to keep his job, which he by the way sucks at.

R: Oh wait till I find out where your office is.

Enter sexy but haunting laughter here. You will never know.

V: So do we get introduced?

R: Sure, so the bald guy with no nose, basically a bad version of Micheal Jackson, is Voldemort.

Voldie waves to the camera not realizing he's just been insulted but then again, he is pretty stupid.

V: What?

R: Never mind the narrator, and the creepy tall guy who looks too good to be a villain is Saint Dane.

SD: Hellooo.

SD smiles and tries to fake a British accent. That was weak man.

R: Uh…and here the kid with the freaky cut on his forehead and round glasses is Harry Potter.

Live audience goes wild.

HP: Thank you. By the way it's a scar, and I like to be known as the Chosen One, but the nicknames The-Boy-Who-Lived, and your Highness works too.

Well somebody's a little full of himself, and to think I thought you had a nice ass…damn I said that aloud didn't I. I have got to stop thinking out loud…I wonder if you could dip cheese in chocolate, or what Voldemort would look like if he dressed like bunny…

R: Uh…

I said that aloud didn't I… $$

V: Was that a real word?

SD: I'm not sure, hang on.

Whips out a dictionary.

HP: Um why does your arch nemesis carry a dictionary?

BP: I'm not sure but I had always assumed that was…

HP: Assumed it was what?

I don't think we want him to finish that sentence. Gah! The possibilities. Ah, my head is filled with mental images! Make them go away mommy!!!

R: …and the last but not least, Bobby Pendragon.

BP: How come I didn't get a description? It's cuz I'm fat isn't it? You think I'm FAT! YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE!

Wow, you really did it this time.

R: B-But all I said was his name.

You don't think do you?

Bobby sobs into his handkerchief…There, there did the mean man hurt your feelings.

R: But all I-

BP: Stop!

R: I only-

BP: Don't say it!

R: This job can never be easy can it?

You could always quit, so I can take your place and lead this show to brilliant places.

R: No, that's okay. Continuing on. Today we're going to meet-

BP: Hey Saint Dane do you shine that thing?

HP: I bet he does, when we duel I'm pretty much blinded when the sun glints of it.

Saint Dane looks utterly confused… wait that's his usual expression.

SD: Yo Potter we've never dueled what the hell are you talking about?

HP: Must've been in my nightmares…and did you just say "Yo"?

Yeah, I heard it.

BP: I'm serious though I can't see.

Harry searches through his robes…he could've worn normal clothes for this interview…anyway, he takes out two pairs of glasses.

HP: Here use this.

BP: Thanks man.

HP: No prob.

BP: Hey Voldemort has Dora Boxers?

What the-

HP: Oh crap these are the x-ray glasses.

Bobby looks at the audience.

BP: Hey Harry look the red head in the audience isn't wearing a bra.

HP: Ooooh nice….wait, WTF that's Ginny, my potential girlfriend. Gimme those back.

Potty snatches back the glasses.

HP: It's Potter.

Do I care?

BP: What do you mean potential girlfriend?

HP: You know if I don't die in the war I'm might marry her.

BP: Cool.

Some red head storms up to the stage.

Ginny: What do you mean you might?

HP: Well I gotta keep my options open.

Ginny: What options?

Crack Pot is now looking really nervous.

HP: It's HARRY AND I'M NOT NERVOUS I WAS JUST SAYING IT.

Okay…but why the hell are you yelling?

HP: sorry…

Ginny: Well??

HP: Well what?

Ginny: You never answered my question.

HP: What question? Oh that's a nice shirt.

Ginny: Really? Thanks.

What the hell? Does anyone notice the topic change? This show is so messed up.

R: Uh, well as you can see we have Ginny Weasel here with us.

Ginny: I thought my name was Weasley?

R: Oh okay, so we have Weasley with us here today.

Ginny: No, Weasley's my last name.

R: Whatever, so Harry how does it feel to be dating her?

Better yet, how's it feel to date a female version of your best friend?

R: Shut up! I ask the questions around here, so what's it feel like dating a female version of your best friend?

Harry looked scared and nervous. He's looking at the red head with a really weird expression, I think he's going to throw up.

BP: Whoa what's that?

Bobby Pendinkle points at the stick Winny's holding up.

Whoa!!

Whats with the flash of light? What did you do to that glasses kid?

Ginny: There, I put a memory charm so you could forget the question he asked.

HP: Was it really that bad?

Ginny: Well it could've potentially ruined our relationship.

HP: You mean it was perfectly good excuse to break up?

Ginny: Yeah….. I guess so.

HP: Dammit it woman! Why'd you put a memory charm on me!

Ginny: Well I thought you loved me.

HP: Well I used to love cats too but then I grew allergic to them.

Ginny/BP/SD/V/R/narrator: WTF??

HP: People change, and in some cases, people develop allergies.

Ginny: So are you saying you want us to break up?

HP: What? No! Free sex man, whores are expensive these days.

BP: Yeah, tell me about it.

A tall blonde has just come out of the secret door near the stage. Wait. Have we always had that door?

Courtney: A how would you know Bobby?

BP: Courtney? What the hell are you doing here? I mean- how nice to see you.

Courtney, rolls her eyes. Um, Hellooo, who is this chick? And when did we get that secret door?

HP: Yeah who is she?

He's obviously interested.

Ginny: Ahem!

HP: What's wrong with you? You got a cough Ginny? Anyway, who's the babe, Bobby?

Ginny: Ahem!

HP: Seriously, go get a cough drop. So, how did you meet the hottie, Bobby?

BP: Oh, she's kinda like my ex-girlfriend.

Courtney: Yeah after you had a sudden love interest with Loor.

BP: What? You weren't there, and besides she rejected me anyway.

Courtney: Yeah, I know, I just like hearing you say it.

R: Ah, Courtney and Loor. Bobby's two love interests. Let's bring Loor out here.

Another girl steps out from behind 'the door'. She looks like an Amazon goddess. No one answered my question, where the hell did that secret door come from?

R: Welcome to the show Loor. This is Courtney, and Courtney this is Loor, but you already knew that.

Courtney glares at Loor.

Courtney: Home wrecker.

Loor: Excuse me? I rejected him remember.

BP: Can you please stop repeating that.

HP: Wait, so this means they're both available?

Wow, he's a horny one.

BP: Yeah, pretty much.

HP: Sweet!

Ginny: AHEM!

HP: JEEZ WOMAN! GET A COUGH DROP OR SOMETHING CANT YOU SEE I'M CHECKING OUT SOME GIRLS HERE?

Uh oh, I think she's gonna-

Ginny: YOU SON OF A-

**We interrupt this program to show the following messages: **

The program is brought you by, Wand Enlargers, because every Witch loves a Wizard with a BIG WAND.

**Volde-Loops**! The greatest new cereal, created by Lord Voldemort! It's fruity goodness will have you wanting more.

There-may-be-some-side-effects:-has-special-brain-washing –potion-to-convert-everyone into-death-eaters-and-I'm-being-forced-to-narrate-this-commercial-so-I'm-saying-this-part-quickly-just-don't-eat-the-cereal-its-evil-pure-evil-also-voldemort's-ugly-Hi-Mom!

**We now return to your program. **

**Viewer Discretion is advised. The following scenes may contain a stupid reporter, a kid with a scar, profanity, and really cheesy humor. Please do not watch for your own safety. **

Whoa, I didn't know we had commercials?

R: You're the narrator shouldn't you know these things?

Whatever. Anyway, the red head has be escorted out to the back parking lot. We may never seen her again. ON A HAPPIER NOTE I just bought some Volde-Loops! This cereal is actually good!

V: Heheheheh…

Why is he laughing maniacally? Hmm….Volde-loops, why does the name sound so familiar?

V: Muhahahaha-(cough)(gag)(choke)(die)(live)(cough)

….

V: Stupid Cold!!!

R: UH, anyway, let's get back to the show- Ah!

What the hell was that?

HP: Yeah? What is that sound?

BP: Is the building going to blow up?

It sounds like some kind of army is approaching us.

SD: I'll go check.

Saint Dane just left through the secret door. For the love of God! When did we get that door?!!!

Loor: What is that mysterious voice?

Courtney: Some annoying narrator, you'll get used to it.

Hey! I'm not annoying!

R: Finally someone who agrees.

Courtney and the stupid reporter high five each other, Hmph!

Oh Saint Dane's back and he seems to be terrified.

R: What's outside the studio?

SD: You were right, it is an army.

HP: An army? Voldemort are your death eaters attacking us?

V: Whoa, that's a good idea, why didn't I think of having them attack during the show?

BP: Well if they aren't death eaters, what are they?

SD:….They're…they're…..they're…..they're…

OH JUST SPIT OUT MAN!

SD: THEY'RE FAN GIRLS!

HP/BP/SD/V/R/Courtney/Loor/dog in the audience/Narrator: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Why are they coming? How are we going to protect ourselves? And how are we going to finish the show? More special guests were going to come!!

R: We'll have to do it later, fan girls are hard to fight off. EVERYONE PREPARE FOR BATTLE!

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**Yeah, sorry about the quality of this update, it's pretty boring. I wrote it a while ago, it was supposed to be longer but I just couldn't stand not putting something up, so I decided to just leave it. **

**Rest assured the next chapter I GAURANTEE will be SOO much better. Honest! Pinky swear! **

**Anyway, those who've already reviewed, you guys still ROCK! **

**If you're tired of waiting for me to update this, check out my other fics, specifically "100 ways to Annoy Voldemort". **

**Oh and be sure to vote in this years mtv EMA's, even if I'm not an obsessed fan of Tokio Hotel, I want them to win the Inter-act and Band section, because honestly they're the only good choice from those categories. Anything but letting Fall Out Boy win. **

**That's all for now. Chao.**


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